If you're like the many single forty-somethings out there, you realize that you're in the prime of your life, and enjoying yourself is the name of the game. In fact, with a myriad of life lessons already under your belt, now is probably the best time to find someone special—someone who is both a loyal companion and a true soul mate.

You may be on the lookout right now, using such successful online dating sites as Match.com or eHarmony, through which thousands upon thousands of people have found love. Or, you could be out on the singles scene in Atlanta, making connections every bit you visit the city'due south numerous hot spots. There's even a possibility that you've allow yourself be stock-still up on a blind date or two. Whatever avenue yous prefer for coming together people, it never hurts to have some valuable, realistic advice from the experts every bit you navigate the sometimes choppy waters of finding real, everlasting honey.

Nosotros've asked a console of local experts to share their top tips for finding love after the age of 40. Their words of wisdom are designed to help you find the kind of relationship that meets your individual wishes and needs at this exciting point in your life. From professional matchmakers to experienced relationship coaches, we've gathered a group of love aficionados who sympathize what it takes for mature adults to identify what they want and how to achieve it.

40 tips from Atlanta'due south Experts

1. Go into the gratitude habit. When you lot are grateful, you lot feel good well-nigh yourself and you are in the right frame of mind to attract love into your life. Acknowledging what yous have lays the foundation for bringing great things, events and people into your life.

2. Set realistic relationship goals.Define the values and qualities that you demand to have in a life partner. Try to narrow information technology downwardly to the most important ones. Remember, nobody is perfect! Trying to detect Mr. or Mrs. Perfect volition keep you lot single forever.

3. Visualize human relationship success.Often, we are our worst enemies when it comes to having a healthy self-image and a positive vision for our life. Don't let yourself be influenced by negative thoughts about your age. Every day, couples over 40 necktie the knot! Love tin and will happen at any historic period, if y'all are open and receptive.

4. Take good care of yourself.A healthy lifestyle and a positive mindset are a prerequisite for relationship success. How joyful and happy we feel is reflected in our advent and free energy level, and it is straight connected to our personal relationships.

5. Follow your passions. Many singles put their lives on hold until they run into "the one." Don't await to have that special trip or try out a new restaurant. 1 of the keen gifts I gave myself when I was unmarried was a Caribbean Cruise. I had the fourth dimension of my life and really met a few eligible gentlemen on board.

6. Exit of your condolement zone. It is time to tackle your "bucket listing!" If yous ever wanted to take that mount climbing class, do it. Besides pushing your limits and challenging the condition quo, trying new things also presents great opportunities to meet people.

seven. Keep an open up heed.If your ideal man is George Clooney without the commitment issues, it is time to revise your listing. Be realistic nigh the type of partner you lot run across yourself with. If you meet someone who has the core values and character traits that are important to you, but he may be a bit shorter than your ideal, give information technology a chance.

8. Learn from your past relationships. Being over 40 is the best historic period to finally know what'due south important in life and relationships. We tin can at present learn from by mistakes and get it right. Do y'all see unhealthy patterns in your past love relationships? Now is the time for change! Yous may rent a relationship coach to assist you in figuring out how to create that healthy human relationship you lot deserve.

9. Practice flirting.Men love women who are easy-going, fun and flirtatious. Make middle contact and smile for an immediate connection. If your flirting skills could use some brushing up, practise in a non-threatening environment, such as a shopping mall or grocery store. Hold that gaze just a split second too long and you may be surprised by the positive responses you'll receive.

10. Don't be afraid to ask for professional assistance. Nosotros are open to reaching out for professional assistance in all areas of our lives—we hire tax consultants, investment professionals or personal trainers, yet when it comes to our beloved lives, nosotros mistakenly believe that we tin can find our life partner by chance. Hiring a professional matchmaker volition greatly enhance your chances of meeting the person who's right for you. A reputable matchmaking service will only work with qualified individuals and will ensure a comfy and respectful experience.

11. Love yourself first. Cocky-appreciation is the kickoff essential step to accepting or giving love. The value y'all identify on yourself is measured and returned by others. If you exercise not love yourself, how can y'all expect others to love you?

12. Resolve relationship issues.Anyone above 10 years quondam has encountered disappointments and hurts in the area of relationships. Hence, past experiences and problems may demand resolution before love becomes a possibility.

13. Acquire something new.Take golf, lawn tennis or dance lessons. Ladies, men besiege on the course for business and pleasure. Gentlemen, an invitation to trip the light fantastic is ordinarily welcomed and provides only plenty time for introductions. In Atlanta, tennis is a popular sport. In that location is sure to exist love with mixed doubles on the courts.

xiv. E'er article of clothing a grin!Smiling makes yous approachable, enhances your appearance and attracts others.

15. Bring together a social group for singles age 40 and better.These types of groups offering various activities monthly and provide an instant social network.

16. Volunteer your fourth dimension and talents to a charitable organization. Helping others feels proficient and tin be an opportunity to see others with common values. (Visit world wide web.bestselfconnect.com for volunteer opportunities.)

17. Get out of the firm! Go out the office!The FedEX person volition non deliver your significant other to your door. Rather than sipping coffee lone, go to the nearest Starbucks or coffee spot. It is a great place to meet other singles.

eighteen. Attend networking events.Bank check online calendars such every bit Events in Your Area or Atlanta Buzz for local options. Approach others with a smile and your business carte du jour. Ask how you may assist them in their profession. Networking events are corking places to make connections. (Visit www.bestselfconnect.com for networking opportunities.)

19. Check out online dating sites.Many have met as a consequence of online sites such as Plenty of Fish, eHarmony, Lucifer.com and Perfect Match. Submit an interesting profile with a current picture and let the communication begin!

xx. Attend your loftier school reunion.Go reacquainted with old friends. There are plenty of stories virtually high school sweethearts rekindling the romance.

21. Check the luggage. If you're over 40 and single, you've either dated a lot in your life or not very much. (If you were married for years, the idea of dating once more may be overwhelming!) It'southward normal to have luggage from past relationships or feel tuckered by the dating process, only think not to unload heavy emotional issues or hurt feelings about your ex on early dates.

22. Positivity attracts. Speaking of luggage … not but should you lot check negativity at the door, but also focus your attention on what's fun and interesting almost your date, and you will enjoy the appointment more than. As well, people are drawn to people who are positive!

23. Network with people yous know.Your friends and your network may exist one of the best resources when yous are single. Non only will they be in that location to support you lot, but they likewise tin can aid facilitate introductions. Before yous consider looking for dear far abroad, consider that people in your community may have connections for yous that you haven't thought about.

24. Selection upward new friends. At a certain age, it's common for singles to feel that they are in a dissimilar life stage than their married friends. If most of your Saturday nights are spent hanging out with your friend, his or her spouse and two children, even if you admire them, it may be time to option upwards new single women and men for friendship.

25. Know your deal breakers. If you keep dating the aforementioned type of person and information technology's not working, it may be time to revise your checklist. Ask yourself: what are your elevation 5 bargain breakers? You may want to base this list on qualities people possessed who were difficult for you to handle in past relationships. (You won't take different results if you keep dating the same blazon!)

26. Wait in the mirror.Yous're fabulous, no doubt, simply there are probably things y'all did—or didn't do—in your last relationship or on dates that you can learn from. So ofttimes we blame others and don't take fourth dimension to reflect on how we showed up. Once y'all expect at your cocky-defeating pattern, you are less probable to repeat information technology.

27. Play upward your passions.What are you passionate virtually? Passion is 1 of the sexiest qualities y'all can possess. If yous haven't washed something in a while that brings you pleasure, make a delivery to try information technology once again and you will have a certain je nais se quoi that volition make you lot irresistible in dating.

28. Focus on what makes you lot a fine catch.So many daters focus on their flaws and why someone they similar would never exist interested in them. If self-doubt creeps upward, supersede the negative thought with something you admittedly love about yourself. Write down x things that make you a great catch. If you can't recollect of annihilation, enroll practiced friends to help.

29. Take the pressure off. Early dating shouldn't be full of pressure. You shouldn't know if yous want to marry someone afterwards the offset five minutes (opposite to popular conventionalities and speed networking events!). The only question you lot need to inquire yourself on an early engagement is if you're having fun and want to learn more about the other person or not.

30. Take risks.If you've been hurt (and let's face information technology, at a certain point in life we all take!), you lot may be anxious about getting back into the dating game. Retrieve that the act of love requires taking risks and being open up—with your listen and in your heart.31. Look at it as an gamble. Look at this journey to love as an chance, not a difficult task that may never terminate. Start getting excited about all the new people you volition meet. Get excited about how much you will learn about yourself during this process. Pretend that y'all are a dating scientist and you lot are cataloging all of your interesting dating experiences. Exercise whatever you need to do to go on this feel fun, light and exciting. Fun people are ridiculously attractive.

32. Focus only on what you desire.Whatever you focus on will grow. If you focus on fright,  you become more fearful; if you focus on doubt, more hundred-to-one. Simply if you focus on beloved and how much you already have in your life, you will find yourself more than grateful, more than satisfied and more than loving. This volition also aid you lot to allow go of any feelings of lack or neediness. Neediness is Non sexy.

33. Don't wait until y'all are in love to beginning loving.Now that you are focused on what you desire—honey—get-go acting on that emotion. Brand a list of all the people y'all honey. Friend love and family love are both very powerful emotions. Showtime concentrating on the relationships that you already take in your life. Let these people know how much you appreciate them.

34. Forget that you are 40. Instead, remind yourself of your brilliance and beauty. Make a list of all the things that are extraordinary near you. What practice You bring to the political party? Attraction doesn't have much to do with historic period or even physical appearance but has everything to do with self-confidence—the style you comport yourself and the belief that y'all carry about You. Ain and adore all that yous know y'all are.

35. Don't appoint in negative conversations.Steer articulate of whatsoever conversations well-nigh how terrible it is to be dating at 40, or how there are "no skilful men or women out there." Remember to proceed your focus on what yous desire and also remember that you merely need ane. With billions of people on the planet, I promise you there is at to the lowest degree i good one left.

36. Create a Dream Partner List.Creating a Dream Partner List is possibly the most important thing y'all tin practice when you are looking for beloved. Dedicate one evening to writing your list. Grab your journal and a drinking glass of vino, put on some Barry White or whatever does it for you and then become to work on capturing all of the qualities that y'all want and want in your partner. Don't worry most being too specific. The truth is that your list is just an exercise to help you be clearer about what it is you want to attract and what you will exist looking for in a mate.

37. Create a Partner from Hell List.This listing is easy to do. We all know what we don't want and have probably dated him or her several times. Think of all of the relationships that have non worked out in the past and capture—on newspaper—all of the qualities that y'all are certain that yous don't want in your Dream Man or Woman.

38. Be patient. Allow yourself to savour the process. Don't become too anxious or fearful that it is not happening fast enough. Finding the right partner could happen overnight or it could accept a trivial fourth dimension. Just have fun with it. Remember—anxious, needy people are Non sexy.

39. Brand a vision board for your love life. Your brain thinks in pictures. Information technology is easier for your mind to "create pictures" of how you want your love life unfold. Schedule an evening, invite some friends over and go through magazines, finding pictures that represent the life that yous want and the partner that y'all want. Sunset cruises, a couple on a beach, a loving family—whatsoever it is that yous desire. Look at this visual representation every night before bed and each morning equally you wake up. Again, this is just another way to have fun with this process.

xl. Celebrate bad dates. This one is central. Jubilant dates gone wrong is really of import. Every bit you are out in the dating world, experiencing many different people and dating experiences, have the time to open up up your journal and capture the things you like and dislike from each person you run into. Add to that Dream Partner List and the Partner From Hell Listing. Remember that each bad appointment is giving you more clarity about what yous know y'all don't want, which ways that you now take an even more than solid idea of the partner you want to attract. Saying NO to one thing is actually saying Yeah to something else.

For more data or tips from the featured beloved experts and relationship coaches, visit them online:
Tips one-ten, Uli Eitel, Previously of Sterling Introductions.
Tips eleven-20, Arlene Ingram, Previously of Atlanta'southward Upscale Unmarried
Tips 21-thirty, Irene LaCota, It's Just Lunch: www.itsjustlunchatlanta.com
Tip 31-xl, Amber Salisbury, Previously of Experience the Love International LLC

3 Personal Love Stories

Gary and Uli Wills: It's a Match

_MG_2249 copyFor Uli Eitel, finding people to date at the age of 44 was no trouble at all. It was finding the right people—people who shared her life goals—that was the issue. "I was by twoscore, I had been married for a long time and I found myself dorsum on the dating scene," she recalls. "And it was just challenging. I wanted to notice the right person—non someone but to date and have fun with on a Saturday night."

A private and unimposing person, Uli couldn't imagine herself using today's popular online dating sites to try and observe a mate. So she began to consider professional matchmaking, which she felt would provide her with a more than personal approach as she embarked on her search for love. Later on extensive research, she found a company that offers upscale services for single, commitment-minded adults who are seeking long-term relationships. "We started with an in-depth consultation, where I provided information about my family, my profession and my background," she says, adding that she also was asked to place the qualities she looked for in a potential spouse. For her, that was easy. "I wanted to meet someone delivery-minded, low-key, fun and solid," she notes. "And I lucked out."

After more than a year with the service and meeting several people, Uli was matched with Gary. A delightful phone conversation led to an in-person coming together, which went extremely well. "On that kickoff engagement, we had two bottles of wine and closed out the restaurant," she muses. "There was just a sense of condolement in that location. We felt like we had known each other for a long time." Within three months, the couple was engaged. And on the one-year anniversary of their first meeting, Uli and Gary married in a private, outdoor, sunset ceremony on the island of Kauai. "I had visualized a sunset ceremony in a tropical location, and the vision came to be," Uli observes. And since they had decided to elope, they had two celebrations after their wedding—one with Uli's family in her native Federal republic of germany and the other in the Midwest with Gary'south relatives.

Today, with three years of matrimony backside her, Uli happily encourages people over the age of 40 to turn to the help of a professional person in their search for honey. In fact, she even founded her own Atlanta-based upscale matchmaking service, Sterling Introductions, which too has an office in New York City. "When it comes to our personal lives, we assume that things are going to happen by magic," she observes. "Merely you have to be proactive, and using a professional matchmaking service greatly enhances your chances of coming together the right person. I see myself equally a success story for professional matchmaking—I know firsthand that it works."

Uli also offers some useful words of advice. "It's easy to say that all the expert ones are taken or there are no good people out in that location, but in that location really are good people out there," she concludes. "You have to fix realistic expectations—nobody's perfect. And y'all just have to stay positive and go on an open mind. Know that it tin happen. There are plenty of success stories—mine included."

Perri and Gary Higbie: And We Danced

PerriWhen Gary Higbie walked into Cowboys in Kennesaw in July of 2000, the last thing on his heed was finding love. In fact, he was meeting a friend to get the name of a divorce lawyer because his 16-twelvemonth marriage was ending. But non long later on he arrived, as couples line danced around him, a mannerly woman with an Australian emphasis who was wearing a cowboy hat and boots approached him and struck up a conversation. "It was a tremendous boost to my somewhat wounded self-esteem to be approached by such a beautiful woman," he recalls. "However, it was the ensuing conversation that evening that made her irresistible—I constitute her admittedly fascinating."

The beautiful woman, Perri, was equally entranced by the homo she saw walk in the door more than than an hr earlier she gathered the backbone to speak to him. "He had a light blue shirt on with eyes to friction match," she says. "In a crowd of 3,000 people, he really stood out to me." And while it was against the somewhat shy xl-something's nature to go up and talk to a stranger, Perri, who had concluded her own 16-year marriage 5 years prior to that nighttime, was encouraged by her friend, who plotted out a strategy to help her "accidentally" start upwardly that all-important conversation. After some casual chitchat, the two shared a couple of spins around the dance floor and ultimately decided to caput out for a loving cup of coffee and so they could continue getting to know each other. At the end of the evening, Gary wrote Perri's number on the back of a Waffle House ticket and promised to call—even though he had not even thought about entering the dating scene once more. "I honestly had not even reached that signal of consideration when nosotros met, as I was still reflecting backwards on my life," he notes. "It was Perri who, in a matter of hours, turned me around mentally and got me looking to the hereafter."

While Perri was not looking for a husband that pivotal evening at Cowboys, she did feel that she would walk downward the aisle once more at some point in her life. "I knew that ane twenty-four hours I would want to exist married again. I was non scared of marriage," she observes. And after three years of dating Perri exclusively, neither was Gary. During a trip to St. Martin, he got downward on one knee joint and presented his very surprised honey with the Waffle House ticket he had written her proper name and number on the night they met. "He told me I could modify the concluding proper name on the ticket and keep the phone number," she muses.

In July 2005, Gary and Perri were married in the groom's babyhood church, surrounded by 150 family members and friends. "That day, I knew that I would be at peace for the rest of my life," Perri says. "I had found my truthful companion. And we get happier and happier each year that we're together."

Having institute love subsequently the age of forty, Gary and Perri want others to know that they can feel the same affair if they're open up to information technology. "It baffles me a scrap [that people believe information technology's difficult to observe beloved afterwards 40]. Men, for the first fourth dimension in our lives, realize that we tin can't and don't want to live without the honey and companionship of a 'good woman.' Our defenses cook away every bit nosotros realize that life is well-nigh a lot more than sex and self-indulgence," Gary concludes with a quip. "We are sitting ducks!" Perri adds, "Yous but have to give beloved a chance. Don't carry the past into a new relationship because everybody is different. And there are wonderful partners out in that location. If y'all're open up, you can find someone who makes you feel good about yourself and brings out the all-time in you. I did. In fact, I hit the hubby lottery."

Harry and Earsilene Fulton: Sky Sent

_MG_2192 copyIt was merely a normal day at the office for Earsilene Fulton, a loan officer at a local credit union. She was going about her business when Harry, a member of the credit union, came in to get some information most purchasing a Winnebago for his retirement. They had a nice, friendly conversation, during which they each discovered that the other was divorced and that they both had a grown son and daughter. And at the finish of their meeting, Harry suggested that they get together one day for lunch or dinner to go on their chat, leaving his phone number on her desk.

"He was very alpine, handsome and outgoing," Earsilene recalls of their beginning see 6 years ago. "I was open to finding love, only I wasn't actively pursuing it. So a couple of weeks went by, and I didn't respond or call him. He somewhen came dorsum into the office and told me that he wasn't all talk—he really did desire to see me outside of the office. He wanted me to know that he was for existent."

In fact, Harry, who was 47 at the time, was so serious nigh getting to know 45-year-old Earsilene that he stood in her part and gave her what she fondly calls his "resume." "He told me what kind of guy he was," she says. "He told me that he was nice, that knew how to have fun and that he was a Christian. And those were all of the qualities that I knew I really wanted in a mate." So, after request around the credit union to find out a little more virtually the mannerly gentleman who was taken in by her eyes from the moment they met, Earsilene finally decided to give him a call.

After their first dinner date, the couple began seeing each other regularly. They found all kinds of exciting and fun things to do throughout Atlanta, and Harry fifty-fifty introduced Earsilene to his favorite hobby—restoring archetype cars. "I realized that he was very humorous and that he was a man of integrity and character. I also constitute that we could have fun together," she notes. "Harry had a broad spectrum of things that he enjoyed doing, and he's more spontaneous than I am, which I really liked. So he would call me up and convince me to get out at the last minute—and nosotros always had fun. Nosotros had a lot in mutual, but I also liked our differences." Of class, one commonality that was especially highly-seasoned and important to Earsilene was Harry's strong faith. "We started attention church together," she continues. "And that meant a lot to me because I wanted usa to worship together."

A year afterwards they began dating, with the blessings of her two children, Harry proposed to Earsilene on a joyful, family-filled Thanksgiving weekend. And 1 year later, the couple became husband and wife. Their children served as their attendants as they stood before God and exchanged vows during a pocket-size and intimate ceremony. And standing there in church as newlyweds, Harry and Earsilene truly believed that there was a bit of divine intervention in the turn of events that brought them to that wonderful place.

"Love really does find you when you lot're non looking for it. Yous just accept to be open-minded because information technology can come to y'all in different ways than you lot thought information technology would. And you have to really take the time to get to know someone and enjoy that journey," Earsilene observes. "Harry says he ever knew that I was supposed to be his wife—that he wanted to spend his life with me. And I practice believe that God had something to do with that. The fashion information technology all came virtually—I do think that God was involved. Finding love after 40 is non incommunicable. It can happen so unexpectedly, just information technology can happen."